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–only 4 chapters left to edit before release–

a future of dreams is a short novel that grapples with love & true love, human beauty, sensuality, fantasy, and the surreal. | Release Date: June 1, 2018


Chapter 11 | Delirium

“Áxel was ill. He became aware something was wrong at Cox Arboretum. The reasons for not seeking immediate, medical attention were unclear. He may have understood something that most of us don’t. He was on to something –a secret…”

“…Áxel prayed for death or unconsciousness. A sleeping state left him unaware of his condition. His conscious states were few as time marched on. He coughed up substantial amounts of phlegm. He coughed while unconscious too, but at least he didn’t feel the pain. The doctors and nurses who cared for him were reminded of death –not as one remembers an enemy, but as one suffers nostalgically for a friend…”

“…Áxel was surprised by the demons flying around the clock. They managed to dislodge the clock’s plastic cover and gained access to the hands. These hands measured the duration and passing of time for mortals. The demons played with the clock’s hands as children do with playdough or blocks. They manipulated the clock’s hands at will, and without consideration for Áxel…”

“…We all have demons. Áxel watched his demons as they pushed the clock’s hands forward –quickly, then slowly. They stopped and looked at him smugly –taunting him. One of the creatures pushed the clock’s hands counterclockwise with the tip of its bony claw –displaying a dark smirk, teasing him…”

“…The demons’ skin was like that of bats, thin, sickly draped around their bony structures. They had claws for hands and reptilian legs. Drool dripped down their fangs and splashed in all directions. Their appearance wasn’t as terrifying as their apparent ability to manipulate time…”

“…Áxel’s lucid moments impressed upon him the many women that wallpapered his life. Before his illness, he thought about this amassed collection of love and wondered whether it was his personal failure as a man or his inability to secure love. There was a considerable difference…”

“…There were as many questions about Áxel’s health as he had about some of the women that passed through his life –or maybe it was he who passed through theirs. One can never be truly certain about who is doing the passing in life…”

“…What was the main cause of his circumstances? Would he recover? He wasn’t an elderly person, but age and time leave scars. Áxel’s lack of time made him prey to Time and his agents. On the other hand, it could be that he had chosen to die. Choosing to die is noble, too –honorable…”

“…Why did Áxel desire death? He wasn’t young, but he wasn’t old either. There was still the possibility of a wonderful life. Some desires have no explanations, no reasons. They’re not illogical or unreasonable either. They’re just beyond comprehension to others. He desired death, but his body desperately and instinctively sought preservation. It carried him…”

“…Áxel’s subconscious was about to reveal a secret, maybe. He mumbled many things in the incomprehensible language of death. He struggled with the delusions of his mind, delusions that possibly held the key to his middle age and ‘final stage of life’ struggle –if indeed this was his last stage…”

“…Delirium played with him like a cat with prey. ‘Áxel, my name is Tiamat,’ uttered the primordial goddess. She continued…”

“…Time is a god, a devastating god. Time revealed his divine existence and shared his desolating shadow with our sons and daughters. Apsu came to me concerned and said, ‘By day I cannot rest, by night I cannot lie down in peace.’ Our sons and daughters rebelled against us, unified under the banner of order and Time. Our children conspired with Time to annihilate us…”

“…Time cannot stand to see things last, especially if such things have affections and consciousness… If they cry, become angry, sadden, and love…”

“…Beware of Time and his gifts. The ‘Beginning and Future’ are gifts from Time. They only last as long as he wants; and he solely gives them to whom he wants. Time is a treacherous ‘ally’…”

“…It seemed that Time was conclusively defeated, but that wouldn’t last. Life has a way of mocking sentient beings with appearances. The truth was that Time had taken hold of the universe. Time possessed it as a demon possesses a tormented soul…”

“…Áxel’s subconscious mind flashed images of the many women that had crossed his path. These images appeared before him like choppy movies, shown briefly and successively –long enough to make them out, but short enough to mask the details that matter. These movies were as intense as Áxel’s experiences when he crossed their paths. They were distorted streams from his past that were meant to highlight grave disappointments…”

“…The succession of women stopped, and his delirium settled upon the distorted stream of a woman clearing her garden. From Áxel’s delirious perspective, he saw her gentle hands hold a curved object, a tool she swung about. She was cutting the tall weeds growing in the garden of her life…”

“…Áxel saw himself in this movie. He hovered above the scene and levitated toward the curved object. It was a sickle. The woman held the sickle with a firm grip and continued her atoning performance. Áxel descended toward the sickle with his testicles exposed. With intent and carelessness, the woman swung the sickle. The blade’s tip tore through Áxel’s…”

“…Cronus is correctly identified as Chronos, Time personified. Since the very first day of Zeus’ reign, Cronus has interacted with the world as Chronos. He looks at humans with disdain. Why? Because humans are the product of Zeus and the gods he rules on Mount Olympus. Time, Cronus, or Chronos –call him what you please– seeks to inflict revenge upon every mortal for his humiliation by using his sickle…”

“…Áxel groaned and gnashed his teeth. His condition was like those damned to hell…”

“…Like most of his precious youth, his strength was spent; but the condition that hospitalized him…”

“…Not a soul met him at the hospital on the day of his discharge. He had no one to care for him, but at least he had the possibility of…”

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a future of dreams (Release: June 1, 2017)